003 Stupid Questions deserve sarcastic answers

Hello there, todays article is on a few simple and quick topics;
1) daily life
2) ways to annoy your swim instructor
and finally
3) why eggplants are cute

Let's start in the middle. As my second job, I work at a gym as an assistant swim instructor. And while I generally, really do enjoy my job; there are those moments I would rather let the child go in the middle of the deep end and tell them to pretend to be a rock. Here are the ways to annoy me and ways to keep me happy!

Ways to piss off your swim instructor

1. If your child is afraid of the water and is a screamer, we totally love it when you bring them to public swim lessons with a bunch of other screaming obnoxious children. 
2. Please don't teach your child how to not scream when they don't get to go when they want, I love having to wrestle the little tykes off my self and still keep the other child safe.
3. Tell me I'm not doing my job well enough every night after lessons. I understand wanting to tell us your  concerns, but once you have, unless absolutely nothing changes, don't nag us about it

See, there aren't a lot of ways, because generally, we are pretty cool people and can handle a lot. But somethings just put us over the edge. But, here are some ways to make me happy and to absolutely make my time that much more worth it!

Ways to make your swim instructor happy!

1. Have your kids showered and ready to go with their goggles!!
2. Wipe their faces!! Please make sure they are clean and don't have any runny noses! (it really grosses me out when they wipe their nose on my arm, and believe me it happens a lot!)
3. If they are sick, or acting out beyond normal, KEEP THEM HOME! Teach them a lesson about respect and don't let them go! If they don't like swim lessons and that's why they are throwing a fit, use your form of punishment, tell them to get over it and make them go. Odds are they will end up having a good time anyways.
4. Have an actual conversation with me, I am a real person and I do have a life outside of the swimming pool

Okay, so now that that rant is done, here is topic 3!! Why eggplants are super cute!! First off, who couldn't love an adorable little plant that likes to act like a fruit, but is eaten as a vegetable!! They were little green hats, and they are usually such a gorgeous purple!! They look like little baby bodies, but they aren't all pudgy and full of fat rolls e.e

 

And now, our final subject of the evening. Last night, I graduated from high school, marking the completion of my demanded public schooling. Now its optional, and expensive. But I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to play rugby for my university and study visual communication and design, with a minor in animation and possibly either creative writing or gender studies.

Well that's all I can really muster right now, I'm too tired.

Have a swell day/night my buttons,
L.A.